insanity is the fuel for the mind

“Freddie? Sam? Is everything all right?” Carly’s worried voice drifts down the hallway.

“She thinks she has cholera,” Freddie says dryly.

“Sam.” Carly crouches down in front of me. “When was the last time you ate anything?”

I open my mouth to fire back a snappish retort, but then it hits me. I gape at my best friend. Ladies and gentlemen, Sam Puckett’s impression of a dying goldfish.

“I can’t remember,” I whisper, suddenly feeling dizzy and out of place. I start to panic. “Carly! I can’t remember the last time I ate! This is unacceptable – I need meat, Carly,” I tell her desperately. I would be clinging on to the front of her shirt if I weren’t still trying to remember when my last meal was.

Carly sighs in exasperation, but I can see a hint of fondness in her expression. “I thought so,” she says with conviction. “Freddie, there’s a pound of beef jerky in the cabinet above the refrigerator.”

“I’m on it,” he says immediately. I rolled my eyes. He is so whipped.

Carly turned towards me with a goofy smile playing on her lips. I narrow my gaze at her, wondering if I had just imagined the slightly predatory smirk that had appeared just moments before.

“He’s perfect, S,” she gushes in a whisper. “Did you know that he’s the CEO of the Pear Company? He invented the MoodFace app for the Pear Phone and he’s produced a couple of web shows!”

I offer her what I hope is an encouraging smile. She seems to buy it, because she continues to blather on and on about his accomplishments and how rich he is. “He bought me a Swarovski necklace yesterday! I couldn’t show you because – you – you know…But it’s gorgeous–”

“Talking about me, Carly?” Freddie suddenly appears in my line of vision holding – I suck in a deep breath.

Carly beams up at Freddie. She’s about to say something but I’m pushing past her and lunging for the bag of beef jerky. Freddie lets out a startled yell and takes a few steps back. I end up crashing into his legs and tackling him to the ground. I ignore Carly’s shocked cries and triumphantly yank the beef jerky out of Freddie’s limp hands. I savagely tear through the flimsy plastic bag and shove the delicious meat into my mouth.

I’m not too ashamed to admit that I may have had a tiny orgasm.

I feel my eyes roll back into my head. “Oh god, yes!” I moan, throwing my head back in pleasure. “Oh yeah…oh yes! Oh god that is so good. Oh…yeah!”

“Sam?” Carly says timidly.